The notion that men cheat with women and as a result, women are also cheaters is seriously flawed and counter-productive.
Whenever the scourge of attached men cheating comes up, the same weak counter argument is mounted by some men. They ask;
“Who do men cheat with? Women, of course!”
The implication, therefore, is women cheat on the same level as men so both parties are equally guilty.
This counter-argument by some men to level the playing field and justify cheating is outrageous and it’s time for men to give up this baseless disputation. Here are the two reasons why;
First of all, the intent to cheat is what makes one a cheater. The conspiracy to cheat is what makes one a cheater. Plotting to cheat is what makes one a cheater.
Every time an attached man shows up in the DM of a woman or solicits her for sex, he declares his intention to cheat. He starts a conspiracy to cheat. He begins plotting to cheat. An attached man does not have to sleep with another woman before he is labeled a cheater.
Consider this nugget; how many people are in jail today for conspiracy to commit a crime? How many people have faced firing squads for plotting a coup to overthrow a government? They were all labeled as conspirators and punished not having committed the act itself. The intent, in this case, is everything.
Secondly, it is inaccurate to broadly state that men always cheat with women because the pursuit does not always lead to sex. If a married man shows up in the DM of 10 single ladies, he will not get to sleep with all of them. In reality, he may not get to sleep with any of them.
However, his intent to sleep with 10 other women makes him guilty of the conspiracy to cheat. The overture to the 10 women will leave a lasting impression with them and cement the notion that married men cheat more.
We need to ask ourselves this question.
How can we go toe to toe with women in a debate about which gender men cheats the most?
Women have the facts to trash men in this debate 10 times over. Women hold the evidence is in their WhatsApp and DMs, they have the baby maker pictures from attached men and they hold many secrets.
In reality, men lost the cheating blame war before the first battle was ever fought.
Women do not use the pathetic excuse of leveling the playing field when it comes to their bouts of infidelity. I’ve never heard women utter the question; “Who do women sleep with?” as a counter.
Don’t we look weak as men pulling this useless weapon as an excuse every time?
I have not hidden the fact that I have cheated. As a cheater, I cringe or chuckle every time a man resorts to this weak counter argument to explain away the act.
If women call men to the carpet for cheating more, we need to man-up and take responsibly for our screw ups or find a better way to counter.
Quit pointing fingers and going back to the same well to drink the cool-aid.
By Kwadjo Panyin
Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.