I Know I Am Going To Hell

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May 5, 2017
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May 11, 2017

I don’t need a church. At least, not for a little while. According to some, I am going to hell anyway so what is the point? You must be wondering why such a ludicrous statement.  The answer is simple, really. I’ve had so many bible verses hurled at me since I started blogging, I believe I have enough sermonizing and morality lessons to last for a couple of years. Who needs church after such an experience? My diehard religious brothers and sisters got me covered so I’m good.

On my blog titled “The Problem With No Sex Before Marriage,” one reader commented something like:

“I pray for God’s punishment upon your head! You had sex before marriage so you are a fornicator and a sinner in the eyes of God. Just wait, your punishment is coming!”

Dang!! Did a child of God just ask Him to direct fire and brimstone in my direction? I’m not sure where I missed my turn but I was under the impression that Christians are supposed to pray for sinners like me, not ask God to bring pain and suffering. This comment begs the question; Who is teaching this false doctrine that denies any form of redemption or hope? Does it come from the church or from the individual? If I had a dime for every time a reader condemned me to hell, I will have enough cash for a full course dinner at an exclusive restaurant.

The point I was making in that article was simple. If you are one who wants to abstain from sex before marriage, seek and date others with similar beliefs. Do not date a sinner like me and expect me to mutate for you as a way to prove my love. For my efforts, my adherent religious brothers and sisters took me through the wringer.  Interesting enough, a few of them came to my defense. One such comment went like this:

“The man never condemned people who choose to abstain. But people who profess to abstain are full of condemnation for him in these comments. He just said you should find someone who also has committed to abstain instead of trying to pressure a person to follow your moral code. Even your own copies of the bible say be not yoked together with unbelievers. So what is the problem again?”

Just for the record, I am a Christian but I am also a realist. I grew up in a Christian household and I distinctly remember my father waking up the whole family at 5 am every morning for years to pray the rosary and listen to scripture. I grew up understanding that religion is important and I still hold those convictions.

Christianity is important and of course, we should all seek to live by God’s word. However, Christianity does not make us better, smarter or happier than everyone else. In my opinion, Christianity re-aligns us with God and allows Him to begin the messy work of untangling our difficult lives. The effort some make trying to appear more religious to the world is a waste of time in my opinion. I have found that most of my deeply religious friends are concealing feelings or perspectives they fear will get them ostracized from their church.  In some cases, I think they are more afraid of the wrath of the Pastor with crocodile shoes than God Himself.

As a realist, I do not downplay the good things in life and see the bad aspects of life as inevitable. What I do is make unbiased commentary about life without looking through any kind of filters. Sex happens before marriage and that is a fact. Cheating happens and that is a fact of life. Do these acts and behaviors conform to the principles of Christianity? Heck No!  However, as a realist and a blogger, I believe in writing with transparency because it gives permission for people around me to do the same.  I am perfectly okay with the notion that we will all never agree on what is right or wrong. That said, we can still be open to dialogue about our differences respectfully and we should be willing to be wrong when necessary.

There are those who believe that God has made a perfect person to be their other half. They believe somewhere out there, at the right moment, their soul mate will magically appear in their life. In the comfort of their homes and in churches, they pray incessantly for God to bring this person to them.

On the other end of the spectrum, you have realists like myself who do not hope for a Princess or Prince Charming to come find us in glistening gold carriages. We realize that life isn’t a fairytale and our soul mate, if there is such a thing, is most likely stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire or on someone’s bed.  My job as a Realist is to capture the flaws and bumps of this reality succinctly.

I am a realist not because I was born that way.  My previous encounters in life have just made me the person I am today. Being real with dating, love, and relationships makes life easier because you don’t hold high expectations and standards for what love needs to be.

As always, I still have lots of love for my diehard religious brothers and sisters and I ask that they remember this sinner in their prayers always 🙂


By Kwadjo Panyin

Author: Kwadjo Panyin

Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.


  1. Ted says:


    Before I give my comment on the theme of this piece, I would love to hit on a very important thing which runs through all religions – “The Afterlife”!

    There is no Afterlife. There is no such thing as heaven or hell. The creation of heaven and hell is as result of man’s want for eternal justice which like other virtues of life will elude us. The creation of heaven and hell is to control people morally. That is all.


    Before we came into existence, the lives of other people and the world as we see it already existed. We became part of this external continuum when were conceived and born. Before our conception in our mother’s womb, and our birth, we never existed. We existed nowhere. We lived in non-existence and oblivion.

    When a person dies, the world as we see it and the lives of others will still continue. Nothing ceases because someone has passed on. It is the life and consciousness of the dead person that ends. The dead person moves into the state he/she was in before his/her conception. That is, the dead person moves into the state of nothingness, no consciousness, and total oblivion. Therefore after death, practically, there is nothing at all or no consciousness.

    Now to bring the meaning of “Afterlife” into perspective – The Afterlife is, therefore, the life of the world, other people, animals, material things, etc. which still continues here on earth/universe when someone passes away. Literally, the “Afterlife” is the life and way of living that continues after your life ends.

    After your life ends, there is an “Afterlife” which you will not be part of. This Afterlife, therefore, does not exist in any different realm or dimension. The afterlife exists right here but in a dead person’s absence.

  2. Benjamin Disciple says:

    Religion is made to control the masses and it works perfectly. But what amazes me is how so called Christians can condemn acts that they secretly commit. WE DO NOT NEED RELIGION. We need to be enlightened.
    Look for the above book.
    Keep blogging man.
    One love!

  3. alphy says:

    Wow man.I think you are the best blogger on the continent.keep it up

  4. George says:

    no adulterer or fornicator will enter heaven.hate these acts and you will receive His blessings at His time.these acts bring death.no life in them.peace.

  5. Akua says:

    Wow! Hard post to write, I’m sure. I am a Christian who believes in no sex before marriage (not just because God says so, but because it’s actually the best thing you could do for your emotional health — Hear Megan Good out on that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lWTO_ri4Ho) , but I apologize on behalf of other Christians who use that as an opportunity to bash their fellow man.

    In people’s struggle to do their best to be ‘good’ Christians, we can go to the extreme and do things that do not reflect Christ or the Gospel. But let us always remember what the Gospel actually says. I am desperately wicked – without Jesus changing my heart. Because of Him, I am able to do the things He asks of me (which are in the end, for my own good, as he’s omnipotent and all that, lol)

    I would encourage anyone who’s been turned off Christianity because of things like this, to remember this, ‘don’t let another imperfect human keep you from Someone who is greater than all of us. Keep searching for real truth.’

  6. Nazir Sakara says:

    Thanks for sharing sire,it’s very insightful..Very inspiring.

  7. Adwoa Agyapomaa says:

    I love this one the most, most people don’t even understand religion, and their religion, being real is the ish… with you Mr.

  8. Yem says:

    Interesting read! As always👍👍👍

  9. Brenda says:

    This a nice one. We all choose which path to we all can’t go the same direction.I love sex that doesn’t change my believe in God
    Keep up d good work bra panyin

  10. Auntie Barbados says:

    I am an avid reader and always look forward to your writing, if you ask me, no one can be pleased. I enjoy the blog and please keep writing, there is always something new to learn,to laugh or ponder about. Well wwritten and trust me, you ain’t going to hell……
    l look forward to the mixer event!

  11. Ditta says:

    All I can say is judge not lest ye be judged. I believe a true christian will not condemn anyone. When the woman caught in adultery in the bible was about to be stoned to death Jesus told the people who were about to stone her, let he who is without sin cast the first stone and they all disappeared because they were all sinners. The only person who was without sin was Jesus and he didn’t throw a stone, neither did he condemn the woman. We are all sinners and we look to God to make us better people. Don’t let anyone make you feel condemned or that you’re going to hell Kwadjo. They do not have the right to condemn you!!

  12. Aikins says:

    Wow!!! Kwadjo, you’ve said everything that needed to be clarified. I’m really amazed as to how you’ve passionately written this out. This is a total write up with pain. sorry Snr. Continue this work because some of us out here are enjoying it every time. Kudos!!!

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