I Cheated. She Caught Me. An Hour Later, The Unexpected Happens.

Sex & Saturday Mornings
September 1, 2018
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September 3, 2018

Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for the words below as apparently, my dogs have learned how to type. 

I was on my knees in the wee hours of the morning, her right hand wrapped tightly around the back of my head directing the tempo, one of her legs slung over my shoulders, the other spread across the bed, my face planted in her secret garden and as I slurp away; I think:

Could this be happening right now?

Should we be in the mood for this? Is this the right time?  We are not supposed to be in the mood or at least, I wasn’t. I could not dare look at her let alone, touch her.  It took me a minute to respond and reciprocate when her hands started feeling up my thighs.  A few moments later, she made her way up, took hold and starting soothing the unenthusiastic joker. I guess she means business.

I was still in a daze as I got down on my knees and cleared a path to the sugar land.  She tasted good as always. She reacted the same way as always, moving her hips slightly with every scoop and munch. She happily arched her back as I grabbed a pillow to prop up her hips.  As I’m warming up the oven, I think:

Could this be happening right now?

Let’s backtrack for a second, shall we?

An hour before I sank to my knees in front of the sugar land, she violently woke me up from a peaceful slumber and a lingerie she found on the bed shoved in my face.

“What is this!?” She demanded to know

It gets worse, she finds a used condom wrapper on the bed.  It gets even worse; we had sex the evening before on that bed and spent the night in the same bed!

Before you judge the hell out of me, read the rest of the article first.

Yes, I cheated! I’m a low life and an awful person for cheating.

Kwadjo, prepare thy self to be spiked by the Apostolic pitchfork, hoisted up and be roasted over the bonfires of hell, you piece of sh*t!  

When I became old enough to start screwing around, I figured cheating will be a deal breaker. Let’s just say I was dead wrong.  Call it luck or whatever but none of the women I’ve cheated on, left me after I got busted. They should have left.  Sure, I was kicked out, my cheeks and jaws took the brunt of some physical abuse by way of slaps, some shoving, the full force of a frying pan to the side of my coconut, a kick to the groin (I still feel that pain when I lift weights), and some savage verbal abuse.

A display of anger is inevitable after a cheater is busted. Some violence, some crying, some begging, some broken furniture; anything but sex and cracking jokes.

Normal human behavior dictates that it takes a while before a cheater can be let back into sugar land if he or she gets lucky.  In my case, it usually takes a crapload of begging, lots of flowers and some hits to my credit card for revenge shopping.

Reconciliation will not and does not happen immediately but eventually, she comes around and is ready to have sex again. When that happens, I start down south in the secret garden and eat it like my life depended on it.

I’ve have held a long and deep-seated belief about women which is; I simply can never figure them out. I’m sticking the white towel on a stick and waving it until my arms hurt.

I must state here that I obviously cannot use one episode to paint broad strokes about women in general. What happened here was an anomaly.

Not wanting to conjure up the painful episode, I did not speak of the incident even though, I was dying to rummage through her brain to understand what the heck happened.

 As the cosmos will have it, an opening came through ions later. During a random conversation, she decided to drag out my past sins. Ah! Golden opportunity!

The ensuring text messages captures our discussion and my quest to understand why she had sex with me an hour after she caught me cheating. In full disclosure, I sought and was granted permission to share our conversation.

Read on, my fellow Kenkey and Egoshi eaters.

*My messages are shown in Green and hers in White.

Before you judge her, ask yourself this question. Is she any different from the women who busted me cheating, forgave me and came back for sex weeks later?

I did get some answers and her reasoning was simple; I had the right as a man to cheat and try new things.  On a lighter side, the cheating was not going to stop her from going another round.

Some women are disturbingly comfortable with the fact that men will always cheat and nothing can be done to change the situation. I totally disagree with that thought process.

Cheating is ever okay and idiots like the old me should never be rewarded for such deplorable behavior.

Stay safe, my friends!

Author: Kwadjo Panyin

Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.

3 Comments

  1. Ama says:

    Yep . It’s interesting that many don’t make the link between the deplorable behavior we let males get away with and the social ills in our society.
    Societies that hold men to a higher standard are better places to live full stop.
    Places where there are consequences for cheating are societies where the rule of law is respected and prevails. African men will not learn accountability in any sphere until there are consequences for bad behavior.
    Your surprise might be because you live in a country where there are consequences. In Ghana you’d almost have expected to have sex soon after. Her female circle would have asked her why she was even mad cause ‘men are like that”.
    So sad.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Kwadjo, nice write up

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