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“Sorry dear, we had dumsor in our area last night and that is why I did not receive your calls.”
If you live abroad and have found yourself in a long distance relationship with a girl in Ghana, chances are you have wondered, at least once, whether she might cheat on you.
Well, I have bad news for you. No one wants to think that the person they love might be lying to them or cheating. Lying and cheating, however, do happen. The bad news is, in a long distance relationship, the deceit is easier to hide for a long period of time and almost all the reasons for the deceit are legitimate. So, it is difficult to tell the difference between the truth and a lie.
There are signs that your girlfriend might not be completely honest with you or cheating. As I stated earlier, every possible excuse she may be giving you might be legitimate. I am not arguing that all the reasons I will discuss mean that your long distance girlfriend is cheating. I am merely pointing out that the frequency and the times she uses these excuses MAY point to deceit.
1. She uses dumsor (Power Outages) frequently as an excuse
Sorry dear, we had dumsor in our area last night.
Every Ghanaian complains about the frequent power outages. The only Ghanaians happy about the power issues are the cheaters. The power situation in Ghana is a huge problem so this excuse is very understandable. If the power is out, she cannot charge her cellphone. If the power is out, the internet router stops working. The inability to reach her due to the power issues is therefore legitimate that is, if the power is truly out. If the power is not out, this excuse is the best one to go to for cheaters.
A friend of mine in Boston suspected his fiancée of cheating earlier this year. His fiancée was always using the dumsor situation as an excuse for not picking up his calls. He switched to calling cards only to be hit with dead cellphone excuses. He got clever and hatched a plan with his cousin to track the exact dates and times the power went out at his fiancée’s house. It turned out he did not need to track the power outage dates and times after all. The first time his cousin rolled up to her place, he found her sitting in a Mercedes making out with a man twice her age.
2. She is always experiencing data shortages
Sorry dear, I ran out of data.
She is out of data so you cannot reach her. Running out of data is a fact of life for most Ghanaians. I have watched an ex-girlfriend in Ghana go through this process called bundling. I can’t figure out the bundling deal but I know it is a way to retain and boost your data. If she is using the data shortage too frequently, she may be cheating on you.
A friend of mine in New York said he added extra cash to his girlfriend’s monthly allowance specifically for data. Despite the extra cash, the data excuses did not cease. She started bundling the data excuses with dumsor. When he confronted her, her excuse appeared innocent and simple enough. She had several group chats and a lot of friends so her data runs out quickly. He got tired of the excuses and broke up with her. She did not put up a fight when he told her the relationship was over.
3. She always has network issues
Sorry Dear, my network was messing up.
The network for the most part, works well in Ghana. 95% of the time, my conversations on WhatsApp with someone in Ghana is crystal clear. The network can still have issues and one can legitimately use this problem as an excuse. The network messing up however, is the oldest excuse in the book and the most difficult to disprove. As soon as internet telephone calling came into the picture, network issues has been a favorite excuse for Cheaters. How can you verify this excuse? It’s impossible. The network messing up is one of those excuses that you just have to take standing up. All you can do is hope that she is not lying about it.
4. She snubs you on holidays
Sorry dear, you know how holidays in Ghana are. I was out with friends for most of the day.
There are a lot of holidays in Ghana. Most people take advantage of the day off to be out somewhere having fun. The holiday is also a perfect day for lovers to get together. If you are having a very difficult time connecting with your girlfriend just on holidays, she may be cheating on you. My personal holiday snub occurred on Christmas day. There was no excuse in the world I was going to accept for her not calling me all day on Christmas day. Then again, what do I know? Maybe she was too busy to call. Maybe her phone died while she was out. Maybe her network had the worst headache that day. I will never know, will I?
5. She is always rushing you off the phone when you call
Sorry dear, I can’t talk to you for too long.
When you call your girlfriend, is she perpetually trying to rush you off the phone? Is she only relaxed when she calls you at a time that suits her? If you are constantly being rushed off the phone by your girlfriend when you call her, she may be cheating on you. One of the questions everyone in a long distance relationship asks is, “are you home?” If you rarely catch her while she is home and she is always hurrying you off the phone, that could be a red flag. You should know at some point in a long distance relationship, how her schedule works. If her schedule is constantly changing, that is another red flag especially if your calls to her seems like a bother.
If you suspect your girlfriend of any of the above, ask for clarity and confront the issue. Do not interrogate your girlfriend about every minute of her daily schedule if you suspect her of cheating. If you find yourself constantly suspicious and second guessing everything your girlfriend in Ghana is saying or doing, your relationship is already in trouble.
If something specific is bothering you, bring it to her attention. It may all be due to a simple misunderstanding. If she cannot explain or give you some clarity, you have a choice to make.
Author: Kwadjo Panyin
Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.