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When I engage in discussions and write about the dating world, I joke about how I’m going to die alone and no one will find me for days.
Today, a young single Ghanaian lady living alone in Worcester, Massachusetts was found dead in her room. She had been dead for months and no one knew, no one checked on her, no one missed her.
Sandra was a lovely single Ghanaian lady living alone in Worcester. Her mother passed away a couple of years ago. Her father recently passed and his death was very hard on Sandra. She was navigating through life just like everyone else.
Friends should learn to be good friends and check on their friends when they don’t hear from them, especially if they live alone. How can someone die in her home for such a long time without anyone knowing? RIP Sandy. God knows best. Sad!!!
My friend Nana Fosua wrote this message on her Facebook wall today.
The police broke the door open and found her dead. Her father’s friend had reported to the police that he was not hearing from her. He wanted the police to check on her to ensure that she was alright. There she was, dead for months and no one knew.
This matter is not a joke anymore. Singe people do really die alone and no one notices for days, months and sometimes years. Last year, I shared the story of Joyce Vincent on my Facebook page. I wrote:
Are you a Joyce Vincent? Have you heard of the story of Joyce Vincent? Joyce was a vibrant 38-year-old who died in her apartment and no one noticed for 3 YEARS. She lived alone and prior to her death, had slowly cut contact with friends and family. This holiday season, I am reminded of how important friends and family are. How important it is to keep in touch with friends and loved ones always.. This story is for all of us who live alone. Stay in touch always!
Dying alone is a fear of mine. Dying alone is also a fear of most people who live alone. Nobody obviously wants to die alone. The truth is, there are tons of single people and people who live alone dying every day.
I once joked that the reason why I am active on social media is for people to notice that I am probably dead when I go inactive. The friend I told this joke to laughed. What she did not know was that I was dead serious.
That my fear of slipping into the pale light of obscurity was the reason why I was active on social media. My online activities was not an attempt to garner attention. It was an attempt to let friends and family know that I am alive and well. There is no one waking up with me every morning to make sure that I am alive.
If you live alone, know that family and friends may not call every day to check on you. Sometimes they may not call for weeks, even months. They have their own families and problems to worry about. It is up to you to ensure that you have people who check on you regularly.
Make a pact with someone who also lives alone. I once made such a pact with a fellow bachelor. We checked on each other every week for a year until he got married and started a family. You can also make pacts with a church member, a co-worker and other friends. Some have asked why her church never check on her. You cannot rely on an entire organization for this purpose. They should have but they did not. You have to rely on individuals to check up on you, not an entire organization.
Use social media to let people know you are okay, that you are still here, that they should not forget about you. I am not saying post everyday but be active and maintain a presence online.
Keeping in touch with friends and family when you live alone is your responsibility. Do not take this responsibility lightly. Your friends and family do care about you. They are however, preoccupied with their family members living under their roofs. If one of their family members does not return home, they will take action immediately. If you do not return home, they won’t know so they can’t take action. The responsibility to keep in touch is therefore yours and yours alone.
Rest in Perfect Peace Sandy!
I said a prayer for you today. The news of your death caused me great sadness. I live just like you lived. I exist on this earth just like you existed. I am sure you also had fears about dying alone. You just never thought it will actually happen. I pray that the good Lord comfort your friends and family in their time of grief. Know that you will forever remain a beautiful soul; and that God has prepared a special place for you. A place where you will never be alone again.
It is well.
Author: Kwadjo Panyin
Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.