The Miso-glazed sea bass with asparagus I ordered is simply delightful. The Bourgogne Chardonnay the waiter recommended I pair with the meal is amazing. We are both halfway through our meals; the wine is beginning to kick in. She tells me her meal is delicious and she is enjoying the evening. It is one of those lovely Los Angeles evenings.
Then she hits me with this question.
“So, are you interested in me because I am a registered nurse?”
My interest is now piqued. Obviously, we are done with the small talk. It’s time for some serious talk. In a way, I should have known this question will drop. If you are on the dating scene, you hear things. Nurses that I have come across have dropped hints about how Ghanaian men look for nurses to marry or date.
“You Know, you are the third nurse to ask me that question. Let’s explore your curiosity. Tell me why you think I am interested in you because you are a nurse? I honestly want to have an open dialogue about this topic.”
“Isn’t it true that Ghanaian men these days look for a nurse to marry?”
“Are nurses the new hot item on the dating scene? We used to hear that the ideal spouse is a doctor or a lawyer. Are you saying that nurses have made the list of the ideal partners to seek for marriage?”
“Yes, that is what I am saying. All my friends who are nurses say the same thing.”
“Why do you think that is the case? Give me the reasons why Ghanaian nurses and all nurses for that matter, will make excellent wives or husbands.”
“You should marry a Ghanaian nurse. Here are the reasons why.”
“Nurses are very hard-working, they are highly educated, goal-oriented and career focused. “
“Nurses make a very comfortable living because they get paid very well. We work very hard for our degrees and licensure. We work harder than doctors day and night. Ask anyone who has been a patient and they will say the same thing.”
“Interesting! What I hear you saying so far is that marrying a nurse equals stability.”
“Wait, there is more. Our job teaches us to be good listeners and compassionate. We have to place ourselves in the shoes of the people we care for all the time. We have very high empathy levels.”
“We also deal with life and death situations all the time. We see the worse in people. Because of that, we can easily handle stress and everyday marital problems. We don’t sweat the small stuff in our relationships.”
“Is that all?”
“How much time do you have? I can keep going. Did I mention our capacity to give free medical advice? Did I mention how we can prolong the lives of our partners because we know what symptoms to look for?”
“So now tell me, won’t you want to have a nurse for a wife?”
“Heck Yeah! A nurse will make an excellent wife with everything you just mentioned. I am, however, not interested in you because you are a nurse.”
Ghanaian nurses have recognized their power in the dating game. Nurses from all over and other health care professionals like home care aide workers also have a similar appeal. They know they are in high demand. The conception out there is that health care workers, especially nurses, make a lot of money. My friend Maame recently told me that the men talking to her joke about how rich she must be because of her profession as a home care aide.
When you tell someone that you are married to or are dating a doctor, the person most likely will assume that your life must be comfortable. If you tell someone that you are married to a nurse or dating one, the same assumptions are now being made.
I applaud nurses for all that they do. You do good work out there. The rest of us have no clue what it is like to walk in your shoes. A nurse can be administering medicine to a patient, come back a few minutes later and the person is dead. They see people of all ages suffer horrible diseases; go through pain and death on some occasions. A nurse appreciates life because of what they do, because of what they experience every day.
A nurse I know tells the story of a teenager who was out taking selfies the night before she was rushed to the emergency room. The young lady ended up losing her life. My friend talks about how her whole attitude towards life changed when she saw the selfies on the teenager’s phone after she passed. “Life,” she tells me all the time, “must be enjoyed every second. If you are able to get out of your own bed every morning and function during the day without any medical assistance, you are a winner.”
I am not in the market to find a nurse as a potential wife. I know a lot of my brothers are not either. Are there brothers out here looking for nurses specifically? I am sure there are.
My point is this, if you are a nurse, you are an excellent catch. There is no doubt about that. However, do not always assume that a man is interested in you just for that reason. I tend to think that a man will consider himself lucky if you cross his path. However, if your thought process starts with the fact that men are only interested in you because you are a nurse, you will push the good ones away.
The first time I posted this blog, I received a lot of feedback from readers who are nurses. One reader told me that most Ghanaians are getting into the nursing field for the love of money, not because they love to care for the sick. I was also informed that not all nurses are caring and compassionate. I understand that new arrivals from the motherland are advised to get into the health care field immediately. They are told, “You have to get into nursing. You will make a lot of money.”
I dated someone who was in the process of obtaining a nursing degree. I took a look at her course work one day and the materials she had to study to pass board exams. I must say that the course work and the contents of the textbooks were difficult to study. The path to becoming a registered nurse or a healthcare worker is not an easy one. The work is difficult, even dangerous in some cases. I can, therefore, understand the pride and value nurses and healthcare workers carry in the dating game.
So for all the nurses and healthcare workers out there, we recognize your power. Just don’t let it get to your heads 🙂
By Kwadjo Panyin
Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.