Am I a flirt? Most definitely!! I believe that I am an audacious, cheeky and charming flirt. I’ll admit to that. Who doesn’t flirt, though? If you are single and not flirting, you are missing out big time in my opinion.
I was shamelessly flirting with a girl via WhatsApp a year ago, and I mean, shamelessly and carelessly flirting. I was not interested in her romantically, I was just trying to hit a home run and possibly, get her to rock my world. She was super skinny and she fit my physical preference like a glove. What’s up with me and skinny women anyway? I have absolutely no clue! What is apparent though is that 99% of my brain function gets arrested when an attractive skinny woman crosses my path. I think God placed super skinny women on this earth purposely to torture me. Anyway, I digress.
She was not flirting back as much but she was not dismissive either. You know how some women respond to flirts with idioms like “really” “lol” and “Wow?” She did flirt back in some instances but most of her responses were neatly packaged with just an expression or two.” Given her half-hearted responses, I should have known better. That night, however, I had knocked down a few brews and rational thinking was not quite at play.
I recently made a new female friend and in our chit chat, she happened to mention that I had shown up on one of her group chat. “Wait, what?” I asked. She reached for her phone, scrolled through her WhatsApp messages and handed it to me. “What am I looking at?” I asked as I tried to make sense of the messages glaring back at me. Before she could respond, I recognized the screenshots of my flirting soiree from a year ago. Yikes!! I was indeed utterly horrified in that instant.
Sometimes in life, one looks back at certain things one did and wonder, “Wow!! Did I really do that?!” This blast from my sordid past was surely one of those moments. She explained that the entire conversation with the girl I was flirting with had been shared on her private group chat so others could chime in. Turns out, she was just stringing me along for the amusement of her girlfriends.
With the invention of smartphones came the exciting world of screen-shotting where anything you text can and will be shared.
What the heck did I say? I asked nervously laughing as I scrolled through the screenshots. The intoxication certainly unleashed the dog in me that night. Introduce a few brews into my system and I transmute into an Adina Howard type of freak whose freakiness needs some curbing. If you do not know who Adina Howard is, by the way, look her up. As I read, I came across the following texts.
“I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.”
“I bet you play soccer because you’re a keeper.”
Did I really text those corny lines to her? I bet that provided some good comic relief for her friends. I was just shaking my head at this point. Oh, I deserved the ridicule which followed my incredulous flirting. She saw right through my malarkey because she knew what I wanted. Oh well, you can’t put toothpaste back into the tube as I always say.
Was I surprised, shocked or upset? Hell No!! I actually laughed out loud after I looked at all the screenshots. With a puzzled look, my friend inquired why I was not upset or disappointed. “Don’t get me wrong. I feel like a shmuck right now.” I told her. “I deserved it in a way. I was a dog that night.”
If you think the only person reading your text messages is the person you sent it to, I regret to inform you that you are sadly mistaken. Yes, people will take screenshots of your dialogs and send it to their friends or share on group pages in some cases. If your texts are emotionally charged, obnoxious, silly or just plain sweet and endearing, rest assured that the recipient’s close friends or confidants will see it also.
Most of us take screenshots of text conversations and share with others without even thinking about the implications of our actions. This practice is not gender specific either as both men and women do it. Why waste time and energy explaining a text conversation exchange when you can just take a screenshot of it?
Have you ever wondered if a guy shares screenshots of your sexy pictures or sexually charged conversations with his friends? In an ideal world, a caring guy wouldn’t share such dialogues or pictures with his friends. The rational part of me knows better. I have seen my share of sexy pictures and sex talk screenshots from my male friends. Most men will not share nude pictures or text messages of a current girlfriend or lover. They will, however, take screenshots dialouges of women they just want to sleep with. Most men share steamy pictures and conversations for bragging rights. If you must send sexy pictures to a guy, do not show your face ever! Then of course, if you do not mind a bit more exposure among his friends, make sure to put on your hottest bikini, take the sexiest poses and selfie the night away.
The majority of the screenshots I have received from women were shared to seek my advice on how to respond to a message or for an explanation of the contents of the text. Sometimes, I receive unsolicited screenshots from women featuring men, mostly married men, ruthlessly trying to woo them. Some women love to show their female friends the cute things a guy they admire says to them. They cannot help but want to brag a little. Where is the fun in having a crush if you can’t tell your best friends all about your cute text exchanges?
Recently, I have been receiving screenshots from some women showing that I am online on facebook or WhatsApp accompanied by questions such as, “I see that you are online so why are you ignoring me?” I am still not sure why being online translates into responding to every message but I guess this is the world we live in today.
Texting has become the norm now and has even surpassed the significance of phone calls on the dating scene. I recall going a week without a phone call and when my cell phone finally rang, I was utterly confused. “Does someone really want to talk to me?” I find myself currently texting people first to ask for permission to call. I am old school and I love a good old fashion phone call with a love interest. I must confess that I text more than I call. Most of my friends, family and love interests prefer texting over phone calls. There are people I know today whose voices I’ve never heard and yet, I have hundreds of text message exchanges with them.
The deal is, people will take screenshots of your dialogs and send it to their friends. Once you send a message, you’re not in control of what happens to it. If you share a screenshot of a text message with others, you do not control what they also will do with it. My humble advice; operate on the assumption that every text message will be shared!
Public Service Announcement: If you happen to have naughty text messages from me, please delete all of them. It wasn’t me!
By Kwadjo Panyin
Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.