Three Is Not A Crowd In Bed: Or Is It?

My Pen is Up & Wants To Talk To You
August 24, 2017
How About A 3 Some?
August 25, 2017

Disclaimer: The preceding article is intended for mature audiences only (excluded are the overly religious and those who take life too seriously).  Readers discretion is strongly advised.  This article is totally useless and not meant to enlighten you in any way. The opinions expressed here belong to everybody, but the opinion belongs to me; the distinction is yours to draw. Read at your own risk and please, do not try this at home!

I am definitely going to get into some hot water with this topic.  Today, my self-imposed shackles which have prevented me from writing about triangles are coming off.  Triangles;  just the topic I want to write about knowing my father and my future wifey are going to be reading this.

Here,  I am going to hand you a hammer and some nails.  You have my full permission to crucify me with this declaration I am about to make below and for the others afterward.

Triangles are awesome and everyone should try them at least once.

Try asking any fella about what’s on his sex bucket list and a triangle with two women will definitely make the top three bullet points.  I am going to play my position in the sex game standing firm when it comes to triangles.  Ask me why?

What else could be better than having two women in bed with you to get nasty with?

Before I go ahead, let me set up some hypotheticals.  When the discussion on triangles come up,  it is almost assumed there will be two women and a man involved.  Rarely does the triangle include a second man or three women for that matter.

In a way,  it is a social taboo to speak of a triangle involving a woman and two dudes.  There are negative connotations written all over this social taboo.

I would point out that society lauds a two girl triangle as every man’s fantasy so for the purposes of this article,  I will discuss a heterosexual couple that chooses to add another woman into the mix.

Every time I bring up the topic of triangles,  a female friend or a girlfriend asks; “Since you get all excited about having a triangle with another woman,  how would you feel about sharing me with another man in bed?”

Heck to the NO!?  Are you freaking kidding me?  There is not enough force in the universe to propel me to share that space with another man at the same time!  You can’t pay me enough to have another man’s sweaty jugglers that close to me.  No way; it ain’t happening!

Sounds and smells like hypocrisy, doesn’t it?  A triangle with another dude falls outside the jurisdiction for most heterosexual men.  It is what it is!  It sucks but I am standing firm in the selfish corner on triangles.

I had my first triangle experience in college.  It was unplanned, unexpected, exciting but weird.  It was my birthday and my girlfriend and her roommate decided to take me out to dinner.

We were broke college kids so a nice sit-down restaurant was out of the question.  Dinner happened live at one of the food trucks on campus and I was totally cool with it.

My girlfriend, however, felt bad so to make it up,  she decided that we should stop by the local grocery shop and pick up some grown up beverages.  Funny thing about those college days in New Jersey;  we were perpetually broke but we always had the cash for grown up beverages.

Oddly enough, there was no talk of anything sexual happening that night.  We went back to her dorm to party the night away.  Her dorm room was tiny and the beds touched all four corners of the wall.  Needless to say, the three of us were locked in a pretty tight space and close contact was unavoidable.

As the beverages started coursing through our veins,  our inhibitions went out the window pretty quickly.  In my haze, I still saw her roommate slipping out of her skirt.  Well, this is interesting,  I remember thinking to myself.  I obviously can’t deny that I had fantasized about my girlfriend’s roommate given that she was hot.

We were all feeling pretty good when my girlfriend started making out with me.  It took mere seconds to rip off each other’s clothes and eerily enough,  both of us appeared oblivious to the fact that there was another person within arm’s length.

First,  it was just me and my girlfriend. Then she pulled her roommate closer and kissed her passionately.  Oh Moses, wake up and smell the roses!  I woke up the second our three lips merged.  Pure pandemonium was about to happen!

Things got crazy and we moved to one of the beds. Now at this point,  all three of us were having a full-blown make-out session.  Everything was new to me and simply mind-blowing!

Picture this scenario for a second;  how many times will you look down to see two women working on your baby maker?  Two hands are enough to cause pure exhilaration so picture four hands touching you at the same time.  Talk about boiling points!?

Her roommate was the first to impale herself while I laid on my back.  While she went for a wild ride,  I was paying munching dues to my girlfriend.  Two minutes in,  I pushed her roommate off;  I could not afford an explosion, not now.  My girlfriend got on all fours as her roommate grabbed me from behind and helped direct the push and the pull.

The action was too intense so I had to switch up again.  My boys were screaming and pleading for an early release but I was blocking them.  The entire situation was incredibly surreal and even as it was occurring,  I was not sure if I actually believed what was going on.

Unfortunately, the entire episode only lasted about seven minutes from the moment I made the initial entry to my boys rushing out through the canal.  Man!  The combination of a new experience,  the extreme excitement,  and the beverages brought the proceedings to a premature end.  Bonkers!!

I remember waking at some point in the night still inebriated and in the middle of two girls still in their birthday suits.  Did that just happen?  I felt weird but I passed out again.

The following morning,  my girlfriend and I woke up at the same time while her roommate slept on.  We said nothing of the events which took place the night before.  There was a pungent sense of guilt and some shame in the air,  I should say.

After I left, we never spoke of that evening again even though we continued to hang out together.  It was one of the strangest, weirdest and memorable nights of my college life.

Most fellas do not make a big deal about their milestones, however, be mindful when you ask a man what he “really” wants for his birthday or how he wants to celebrate an important occasion.  Birthdays are always a good occasion for a triangle if most fellas have their way.

No one really wants to share especially men but a triangle experience is not always off the table.  The thought may never make it to the light of day but it does not mean it is not festering in some dude’s head.

Some fellas wait for the perfect opportunity to slip in a triangle suggestion should one present itself.   Interesting enough,  my second triangle experience was cooked up when a similar opportunity presented itself out of the blue.

My girlfriend caught me checking out another woman’s tush and instead of getting mad,  she surprised me by saying;  “Nice view, huh?  I’m positive you would love to hit that!  It’s cool, I’m thinking about grabbing those myself.”  She said as she laughed.

Ah! I see the light!  A seed was planted and for the next month,  we discussed the topic intensely until it finally happened with her and a mutual female friend.

Do not fantasize, however, that the perfect triangle situation effortlessly presents itself on a silver platter.  A triangle is a wish and a fantasy which rarely occurs.

The bottom line is, should the opportunity present itself,  one should strike when the iron is hot. That is if a triangle is your thing and your woman is open to the idea.

Should you get lucky and find yourself in a triangle,  always remember to respect and treat your primary partner with the dignity she deserves.  There is a delicate balance in making sure that no one feels left out during the triangle but your woman gets more play time.

After all,  if she is down and agreed to you munching on another woman’s secret garden, she’s probably a keeper.  Remember, if you mess it up,  you could ruin your relationship and life forever.

Unless you feel extremely confident that your relationship can withstand the strain of a triangle after the deed is done,  it’s just not worth the risk.

Are you still holding the hammer and all the nails I gave you?  If you are, you have made the wise choice to keep an open mind so accept my profound gratitude!

Happy triangle hunting if you want one!

By Kwadjo Panyin

Author: Kwadjo Panyin

Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.


  1. Yes now, good queshun!!!

  2. Cindy Dela says:

    Threesome be what buddy?

  3. A freaky guy wont mind sharing with another guy, most men wont be comfortable naked with another man in the same room even if a lady was in with them.

  4. Lydia Forson says:

    It’s amusing how men feel almost entitled to their fantasies and think them “normal” but assume women aren’t entitled to theirs no matter how “abnormal” they find it.

    Society has forced most women to keep their fantasies tucked very far away in their minds and off their lips; which is why the idea of TWO men and a woman is almost Taboo.

    Why the assumption that two women and a guy doesn’t equally make the women involved feel as disgusted and uncomfortable as YOU would feel with another naked guy next to you.

    Because truth is even those who engage in it sometimes feel the exact same way, but feign pleasure because it’s supposed to be OK.

    You can’t claim sexual liberation but expect there to be limits for your partners fantasies; that’s not liberation that’s just a selfish man caught up in his own desires.

    And there are men, who’re very ok with a threesome involving another man, some even don’t mind watching their partners with others.

    We just don’t know enough about them because of societies rules on what’s “hot” and not.

    And like it or not; this is all part of the patriarchy that exist in our society.

    • Hi, thanks for your comment. It is very much appreciated. As always, I start by stating that I am always willing to be wrong.

      You are right, most men feel entitled to their fantasies but not all men believe women are not entitled to theirs. Society has indeed made it so and there is more than a hint of patriarchy ideals here.

      Patriarchy is the reason why a sexually liberated woman is referred to as a slut and but a man is called a stud. A wrong and totally unjust labelling in my opinion. There is a whole argument to be made about culturing here but that is for another time.

      On your reference to the assumption that two men and one woman is not equally as disgusting to a woman as having another woman with her man. You make a great argument here and I agree with you. However, I will point to the fact that I stated my own preference and did not state that a woman is not entitled to how she feels about another woman. Also, I made the argument based on societies ideals which we both know it is a fact despite the hypocrisy; a hypocrisy I admitted to myself.

      On men not having an issue with joining another man in a triangle, I stated that “most” heterosexual will have an issue with the situation, the same way most heterosexual women would also have an issue and most do not allow it.

      Ultimately, it all boils down to fantasies and selfishness. Selfishness gets a bad rap sometimes but we all have our selfish needs and in most cases, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing them. Selfishness only becomes an issue when indulged at the expense of others. Here I will agree with you that we men are very selfish and want to always have our way.

      As I pointed out in the article, a threesome is a bucket list item for most men. It is on par with having fantasies of boning a celebrity; a fantasy both men and women have. We all have fantasies and nothing should stop a woman from indulging in hers despite the selfishness of most men. In a way, women pointing out the double standards is needed but sometimes, it deepens the inequality between men and women. Women should proceed to do whatever they want to do and not always use society or in this case, a man stating his fantasy as a barrier to stop them from speaking out about their own needs. It’s 2017 and you have to blaze through your liberation and ignore the ones with antiquated views on sexism. Giving them credence gives men who are not evolved a platform and it needs to stop. If I state my fantasy, you have an equal right to state yours and not assume that most men will hold you down.

      You are 100% right about not claiming sexual liberation and limiting your partner’s fantasies. Of course, speaking for myself, I will not stop a woman from pursuing her fantasies with me. We all have an out button and we all have a right to say no. Most women say no to threesomes and it’s their right. Some fantasies will be allowed and others won’t and there is nothing wrong with that. My feelings about another man in a triangle is my out but I can see how my hypocrisy is glaring here because I am totally okay with the opposite. LOL.

      At the end of the day, Lydia, there are barriers women face in life but sexual liberation should not be one of them. Nothing should prevent a woman from pursuing her fantasies, selfish. Speaking for myself, I will not limit a woman’s fantasies if I am comfortable with it. In the same breath, a woman does not have to indulge in a man’s fantasy if she is not okay with it.

      Thanks again for your thoughts. I appreciate and welcome the debate as always!

      Lydia Forson

    • Nana Pomaah says:

      Herh Kwadjo Panyin u can talk!!!!

      Well said @lydiaforson.

    • Nana Pomaah I wrote a whole new blog with my response

    • Amma Sarfo says:

      This “You can’t claim sexual liberation but expect there to be limits for your partners fantasies; that’s not liberation that’s just a selfish man caught up in his own desires.”

    • Amma Sarfo says:

      Kwadjo Panyin – why are you being so defensive? I wasn’t addressing you at all but rather high lighting and agreeing with the quote from Lydia Forson as a general statement… The moral of the story is that it’s not always about you- LOL!

    • Amma Sarfo I appeared defensive but if you were sitting in front of me, you will realize that I was actually smiling as I responded. Maybe I was a tad disappointed that my intent is being misunderstood given the fact that the general statement you agreed with is one drawn incorrectly. You’re right and I’m with you on the fact that it’s not always about me.

  5. Doris Armah says:

    I will never agree to a “triangle ” .
    Not even in my next life.

  6. Pretty Naadu says:

    O boi! I thought the article ended too fast lol

  7. Nana Pomaah says:

    … Kwadjo Panyin u won’t kill us oo. But yes u do speak the truth. It’s on the list of most men, they are not ready to share with another man and the possibility of most relationships not standing after that is soo high!!!

    Woman also have thier list… You men better keep that in mind

    • We simply can’t share with another man!!! Period !!!!!

    • Nana Pomaah says:

      Then stop always wanting your woman to share with other women. Period!!!

    • Nana Pomaah see, I believe you and Lydia have a fair argument and it’s well noted but you are missing the key point. No one is stopping women from also wanting a 3some with 2 men. Men have no right to stop your fantasy if you as a woman, want it. All he can do is say no. In the same token, all a woman has to do is say no if she does not want to share. Saying I want a 3some with two women is my thing. If a woman tells me she wants to spank me as part of her fantasy, I can’t immediately declare that men should stop spanking women. Like i said before, nothing stops a woman from pursuing her fantasy even if men don’t like it and society frowns upon it. Women responding this way is almost the same as screaming racism but you don’t go out and get an education and a job because there are racists out there. There are racists alright but it did not stop a black man from becoming president. If men don’t like threesomes with another man, don’t just assume all men are the same and since they don’t want you to have two men, he can’t have his fantasy of 2 women. Yeah I know, I can talk

    • Nana Pomaah says:

      Am glad u hv accepted u can talk . We will go out and get our fantasy waaii.

    • Nana Pomaah no one is stopping you

    • Kwadjo Panyin it’s almost a norm for two women to a man but two men to a woman…jeeezz‍♂️…the energy level of a man on u the woman is more than enough for u to crave for more at that very particular time

    • Nana Pomaah says:

      Waaa see Chiefstylz Borrn how can u decide what a woman can take or not… are u a woman??!!

    • Nana Pomaah says:

      If men can even take half a thing woman can take then u can say that. Sex is more emotional than physics but well men now see it as a construction work!!

  8. Count me in the overly religious and those who take life too seriously

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