Hey there! It’s me, your long-lost blogger crazy friend.
Holy Crap! I’m back and more phucked that ever!
I’m trying to blow the dust off my writing desk and start all over again. First of all, let me dispel of an ugly rumor going around about why I took a five months break. I did not take time out to get married! Shait! Sometimes I wish did though!
My avid readers will recall that last December, I wrote an article declaring that I was ready to settle down. Ha! Interesting, huh? Ask me how I’m doing so far with that lofty goal?
Who was the freaking guy who wrote that article 8 months ago about settling down anyway?
The insouciance of that idiot!!
Why didn’t anyone warn me that I need to find the missing screws in my head before broaching the “M’ word? Shoot, we’ve got less than 5 months to end the year and I’m still freaking single so go figure!
I’ve been productive within the last five months though. I took three more trips to Hawaii, jumped into a shark cage for some close and personal contact with Jaws, went parasailing 1000 feet above the earth, swam with dolphins and hiked up one of the craziest mountains in Hawaii.
I also started a mobile DJ business which has been fun so far even though the business cost is kicking my hiney! Music is life though and I love what I do.
I’ve met some great women this year and I dated one of them. It did not work out. Shocker! As we were breaking up, she hit me with an ugly truth. “You are not emotionally ready to be in a relationship.” She said and she was dead on accurate.
There is a myriad of reasons why I’m not emotionally ready to be in a relationship. Life has been tough lately and with that, I’ve lost some ability to connect on a romantic level. That shouldn’t surprise anyone given how phucked up I am to begin with.
The last two years of my life have been dotted with some hookups and some semi-committed relationships. I’ve been in the throes of numerous toxic, wildly addictive and crazy filled sexual relationships as well. In every one of these experiences or relationships, I’ve come to realize that I’m always the crazy and unhinged one out of the two. Have you ever experienced one of those terrifying moments where you float outside of your body and from a distance, watch yourself act like a total duck head? Yeah, that is moi.
Chances are minuscule that I will meet someone this year and start a meaningful relationship. I make this statement with ease because we all see the world through our own tiny keyholes. I know what I see through my peep-hole and it isn’t rosy. Like everyone else, I use the clay of my life to mold and shape my future.
There is one important lesson I’m yet to learn as I embark on this new journey. Making relationships work is not about perfection, it’s about making incremental progress along the way.
Disclaimer: I don’t share my thoughts about my love life for pity, comfort or for support. I just like to be authentic about my challenges. It seems crazy though, doesn’t it? To admit when relationships have troubles and that you are the common denominator. Most of us project the causes of our relationship woes on our partners but I can’t do that. I share because I know I’m not alone.
So I am back, still single, still crazy and ready to dive in again so strap on your seat belts. We are going for a freaking ride! I have 5 month’s worth of juicy beauties to unload.
By Kwadjo Panyin
Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.