Nothing Says I love You More Than Munching On Her Secret Garden

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Before I begin, let’s observe a moment of silence for all the ladies whose secret gardens are not being munched. 

She likes it, you like it, everybody likes it! Well, almost everybody.

I am yet to meet a woman who does not enjoy a good munching on the delicacies in her secret garden. Well, I should say I have met two or three women whose secret gardens I did not get a chance to munch on. In those situations, munchies were not conducive as we were in public spaces and time was of the essence. I have met one or two women who flat out refused to entertain any munching. I was never given any good reason as to why. My guess would be that they may have had nose pinching secret gardens but I could be wrong. Terrible experiences maybe or they found it to be simply a taboo.

If there was ever a race towards who will rise to the crescendo first, men would win each and every time. Sex, however, is a team sport and we need each other to cross the finish line.

There is a terrible rumor going around that some men are selfish in the munching department. I personally have a major issue with this rumor. Yes, we love to receive but most of us love to give too.  Close contact with the secret garden is a must. It’s just like having a good glass of wine before the main course. It should excite all participants, not just the receiver. I personally find the squirming and the loss of control by the woman utterly exciting.

It’s not just about getting the deed done, it’s about taking pride in the artistry which comes with sex. That said, you should never wait for a lady to ask. The fellas have to willingly initiate and with confidence. She will appreciate you more if you take the lead. For the guys who simply aren’t into close contact munching, that is quite a shame. Think about the power you wield with your fingers and your mandibles. The extra moisture does not hurt either. Well, it will hurt your ego if the joker does not hug the walls tightly due to the excessive moisture.

There is another terrible rumor going around which I can neither confirm nor deny. This rumor purports that most men only last a few minutes after the initial entry. As I said, that is one I neither will confirm nor deny. For conversation sake, however, let’s assume that there is an element of veracity to the rumor. One has a choice between two looks after all is said and done.  There is the “what in freak’s name just happened!!” look after her mind is blown away and the alternative, “what the freak just happened?” look when you take an early commercial break. In the case of the alternative, should she say that your commercial break is okay, trust me, it is ab-so-bloody-lutely not. The best shot at making things last longer is to extend the play by way of close contact munching.

Munchies can be used to one’s advantage and can give the semblance that one is indeed a long distance team player. Even if an early commercial break is a happenstance for any unforeseen reason, chances are that she will remember and appreciate the close contact experience in her secret garden. That said, it is wise not to spend an eternity down there. Do come up for some air and find other places to munch on.

The secret garden can be a labyrinth of surprises.  All “hoo-has” have different flavors and savory tastes. The delectability changes depending on her daily maintenance, her activities during the day and the time of the month. While those obsessed with cleanliness more often give off a bleach like aroma, those with poor a maintenance record give off a personal brand of nose pinching aroma.

It is understandable if some fellas feel a little uncomfortable holding a face-to-face meeting with the secret garden.  One never knows what his chemosensory system will be hit with until in proximity for a close and personal encounter. Either way, secret garden duties still have to be approached with enthusiasm. My humble advice is to always approach with caution so as to hopefully catch a whiff of what awaits before diving head first.  If you happen to take a nose dive and are greeted with a less than pleasant or pungent waft, you can at least take comfort in the fact that you tried.

If you have no clue how to properly munch on a secret garden, kindly get yourself schooled. If you are truly interested in what makes your woman reach her peak, just ask for direction. Different strokes for different folks is literally the best phrase I can use to capture the need to ask for direction. Trust me, you never want a frustrated woman tapping on your head and asking you to stop trying. Of course, you must know some simple rules such as not using your teeth.

By the way, has your munching ever caused violent shakes or an explosive shower? Man! If you consistently cause these two reactions, you definitely deserve to be nominated to the Munchies hall of fame!

By Kwadjo Panyin

Author: Kwadjo Panyin

Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.


  1. Brendyluv mawuse says:

    I love munching am always in cloud nine and I think we ladies owe it as a duty to our to keep the secret garden clean n pleasant always especially during the time of the month. Always love your write ups.

  2. steve says:

    Men I just like what you always write… it’s far educative

  3. Ditta says:

    Immediately l saw the heading I shook my head and laughed out loud😊 I didn’t stop even after reading! Kwadjo Panyin your blogs are truly entertaining!!

  4. Ditta says:

    Immediately i saw the heading I started shaking my head and laughed out loud. I didn’t stop even after reading!! Kwadjo Panyin your blogs are truly entertaining!!

  5. Ditta says:

    Immediately I saw the heading I started shaking my head and burst out laughing. I didn’t stop laughing even after reading. Kwadjo Panyin your blogs are truly entertaining 😄

  6. Ditta says:

    Immediately i saw the heading I started shaking my head and laughed out loud. I didn’t stop even after reading!! Kwadjo Panyin you truly entertain with your writing!!

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