I’ll start by cutting to the chase here. Most women, when considering a new man are interested in the size of three things; the size of his heart, the size of his wallet and the size of his fully inflated hose. The size of a man’s heart can be determined quite easily with time. The size of his wallet will certainly be evident after a number of outings and an observation of his lifestyle. The size of his inflated hose, however, is a little bit prickly.
Most women are completely in the dark as to what a love interest is packing until they are at the point of intimacy. Sure, you can always feel around to get an idea of the size when you are making out with a new guy. However, getting to the frisky part of a relationship takes a bit of time in most cases. I’m sure it is uncharacteristic of women to ask a love interest, especially on a first date about the size of the package or more absurdly, ask if she can feel around. That said, I have been asked questions by a couple women at the courtship phase about the size of my package. A few have boldly asked for a picture. My response to this rather odd request has always been simple; show me yours first and I will gladly do you the honor of a peek at mine. It’s a fair bargain I think.
A single woman actively looking for love is very likely destined to meet multiple suitors. After an arduous process of elimination based on her interests and preferences, she eventually settles on one lucky fella. Days and weeks are spent getting to know him through a myriad of text messages, countless hours of phone calls and dates. At some point, she decides to upgrade the relationship and advance from hugging to kissing to more intimate gestures. One of those lengthy makeup sessions will eventually snowball into foreplay and before they know, primal mating instincts kick in. By now, she would have already felt his pokes but has not actually seen the hose. She holds her breath just before his pants slips down. It finally drops and old glory unveils himself. It is indubitably a “wow” moment. One in which the “wow” is either that of a pleasant surprise, a bitter disappointment or “Oh shoot! He is packing a punch!” What will a woman do if extreme disappointment is the case?
Men mostly have a fair idea of a woman’s assets prior to her stripping to her birthday suit. Come to think of it, we do not need to strain our eyes as much or belabor our mental faculties to picture a woman’s assets these days. Most leave very little to the imagination anyway. By no means is this a complaint. Do show us 80% of your double lattes any day if you must. Rock those tight leggings that accentuate the bumpers behind to top the icing. I certainly ain’t mad at you for giving us a preview of your goodies.
Most of us are painfully aware that some women stuff foreign materials to enhance their cleavage and derriere to make those assets appear more appealing. Despite the enhancements, one aspect of a woman never changes; there will always be a portal to her secret garden. Sure, some portals may be tight and others loose but regardless, there will still be an opening. Women do not experience any pressure associated with sizes. After all, it can be said that all a man needs is a moist canal. Yes, a woman may be worried if a man finds her assets appealing enough. However, keep in mind that those areas only add to the aesthetics, and that, the main point of focus for most men lies in the secret garden.
Talking of pressure, kindly permit a quick rant as some women are relentless with jokes about the size of a man’s hose. I’ve said this in the past and I will reiterate once more. God does not give men a menu with sizes to choose from in the course of creation. If that were the case, most requests would go like this;
“Hey Almighty, can I get a 6 inch which inflates to a 9 inch at the peak of the play? Make it extra thick on the sides please.”
But nope, we are not that lucky. One gets what He gives and are left with no choice but to work with what is given. If a woman is not pleased with the dimensions God gave her, she has the option of implants or reduction in some cases. A man, on the other hand, has no option whatsoever. There’s no packing silicon into his hose. Sure there are companies out there peddling pills and solutions; the great bulk of them being placebos in my opinion.
Most women surely consider this question when they meet a new man especially if intimacy and sex is a key component for them. “If I am going to invest my valuable time in this man, shouldn’t I know sooner what his inflation capacity is? What if his inflation capacity is at zero? What if at full inflation, the size is that of a pinky? How disappointed would you be if you dated a man for weeks, maybe months, invested weekends, time away from friends and family only to discover that you can’t feel a thing when he deploys his occupation forces? Men do not come with their fully inflated measurement visibly tattooed on their foreheads.
To clarify, on one hand, a man’s size isn’t everything when it comes to sex. For some women, it may be a nonissue. There are a good number of women out there who do not rely solely on penetration for satisfaction. Women can reach their peaks through other means even though most will prefer an orgasm during penetration. That said, we have to acknowledge that the average woman may have had experiences with different sizes from previous relationships. It is perfectly normal to be a little caught off-guard if your new man is less than average as compared to others before who happened to be a better fit, anatomically speaking.
A couple of routes can be taken to ease the unknown for a woman one just started dating. If you both happen to get to the frisky point, do not hide the standing ovations. In fact, I highly encourage women to feel around if the opportunity presents itself. At the very least, a poke will be evidence to indicate that your potential man can rise to the occasion. I am not shy about letting a woman feel around as long as I am in a position to also feel her goodies. Exchange is no robbery as they say.
A tip for the ladies. Bear in mind that a man may not be fully inflated or reach his full potential the first time you engage in intimacy. Nerves, pressure and the sheer anxiety can all impact the level of inflation. Translated simply, you are not getting the full picture. This first-time reaction is actually normal for men even those that are well endowed. The more comfortable you become with each other and the more sex you have, you’ll find that he can actually get better. My point is, do not always make a final decision based on the opening act.
The issue of size is already a really sensitive subject for most men thanks to standards and unrealistic body expectations set by society and the media. Honesty and open communication are therefore crucial if you do not believe your man has what it takes to fully satisfy you. Some men will ask you how it feels like. Should you not feel a thing when he’s inside the palace, tell him but be kind and gentle about it. Trust me, he knows himself that he is barely making any waves. You need to be open and honest about what feels good and what does not. It is not easy for most men to hear this honest talk as it is quite disheartening knowing there is nothing you can do to extend your hose. However, do not make the focus of the talk all about his pinky hose if you plan to stick around. Talk about other option such as positions that better optimize the experience, oral stimulation, sex toys etc.
On a final note, I mentioned earlier that a man’s size does not matter to everyone. However, if it does matter to you and he does not measure up, you can stay and make things work by exploring other means to satisfy you sexually or you can go through the entire process of meeting another man and wait until his pants drop. Either way, the choice is yours and yours alone.
By Kwadjo Panyin
Kwadjo Panyin is a Ghanaian born relationship and lifestyle blogger located in Los Angeles, California. He holds three degrees; a Bachelors degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey, an MBA from Franklin University in Ohio and a Masters of Science degree from Northern Kentucky University in Kentucky. Kwadjo is a business professional who blogs for fun. His articles are about the challenges of dating and relationship anomalies. Writing, blogging, world travel, and photography are his favorite hobbies.