About this Blog

Okay, here we go…

Here’s the deal, a friend asked me if I planned to stay a bachelor for life when I told him about starting this blog.

My answer, HELL NO!

I have had the unfortunate pleasure of dating in my teens, 20’s, 30’s and now, my 40’s!  I have been married and divorced. I have a lovely daughter who is the reason I get off my ass every morning.

You have to understand that as an African living in the United States, dating and the search for a partner takes on a whole new meaning. The challenges dating in a foreign country is enough to make me want to start selling “THE STRUGGLE IS REAL” t-shirts in downtown Los Angeles.

Sometimes I can’t decide if my life as a bachelor is something to laugh about or an experience to cry about. I have failed over and over again at this thing called ‘relationship.” I still can’t figure it out. I am constantly researching, constantly looking for answers;  the key to the mystery of what makes a relationship work. I have chosen to laugh about my bachelor life and share my experiences by reflecting on my moments of joy, the challenges I have faced, the frustrations and the “aha” moments in my life.

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The idea to start this blog came from my good friend Maame Dadson. I have known Maame for over 15 years and she has heard all my stories about relationships. We all have that one good friend who is always there to listen, not judge. That friend who gives you the space and environment to be vulnerable and talk about your joys and failures. Maame suggested that I start this blog because she knows my experiences in life is enough to fill a book. Thank you for placing me on this journey, Maame!

The courage I gathered up to open my world is simple, really. You will realize just how imperfect I am. How tortured I can be before, during and after every relationship. The yearn to make sense of the mystery of giving and receiving love.

I have asked the same questions hundreds of African singles living abroad have asked and continue to ask.

  • Should I look for and date only Africans?
  • Should I date a foreigner? If I do, will I miss out on sharing my language, my music, my unique culture?
  • Should I look for a partner back home in Africa? If I find a partner in Africa, can I remain faithful? Will my partner thousands of miles away stay faithful?
  • Where can I find suitable African partners? Should I just settle for the available women/men way younger or older than me?
  • Should I avoid that family thanksgiving gathering because I can’t stand another round of constant barrage of questions about when I will find a partner and settle down?

Here in my blog, you will see each of my stories and experiences in more details and I am sure you will identify yourself with some of them.

Warning: This blog will constantly be changing because I am also changing. You, me and the whole world is evolving so do not be surprised when I throw you a curve ball or two.

Another thing, I will always appreciate your feedback to the blog.  If you have any comments or suggestions, I welcome them and would love to hear them. I also appreciate comments on the blog stories itself.

Happy Reading! Thanks for stopping by..

 

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